A Pastor Posted Recently
There has to be a way to leave your church with grace. If everyone who leaves is presented as “leaving the faith” or “betraying the church” something major is wrong. If that’s the case, you’re not caring for people—you’re manipulating them.
My Reply
There is! Leave DIRECTED by God’s perfect will, prayerfully, matter-of-factly, quietly, and honorably. If a Christian is certain of God’s will, then what else will matter?
After all, if 1 Cor. 12:27 is true, only the Great Physician can make healthy transplant from one body to another. A transplant will generally involve a destination. It is always God’s will for Saved people be members of a church.
The original statement as posted, however, involves a fallacy in scale. Much like saying, “There must be a way to jump off of something without breaking a leg.” Are we talking about a chair or a skyscraper? In other words, are we talking about a good church or not? If not, why not? Does it preach heresy? We must also weed out the superlatives. “Everyone” is suspect. It is COMPLETELY conceivable that some people leaving a good church will do so under God’s direction and others will leave without God’s direction. It is doubtful that either extreme is exclusively true.
If the statement of faith of the church is heretical, quietly leave. No amount of verbal grenades thrown will fix it.
If a pastor is preaching heresy, then speak to him privately after prayer and fasting on that SPECIFIC doctrinal issue. If he does not hear you, return with one or two deacons. Matthew 18:16 is NOT an invitation to gossip or to bring people “to your side.” If those deacons do not see any doctrinal issue, then leave quietly. Once again, no public displays or rallying will fix things. (Furthermore, no one in any other church need know.)
We must also give space to the possibility that the individual members are actually leaving for the wrong reasons. Wouldn’t it be the pastor’s obligation in his biblical role as under-shepherd to help them understand that? In that case, calling it manipulation is a terrible view of pastoral care.
It’s certain that pastors aren’t always expert in all things, but however awkwardly and clumsily, he should try!